Grand Mage or Wedding Planner
by The Angel of Clarity
Summary: As Tanith and Ghastly's wedding approaches someone gets a little excited


So this plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone. I hope everyone likes it.

I do not own anything, least of all this.

* * *

All was chaos.

The tall, skeletal figure next to her laughed at the young woman's facial expressions. "You didn't believe me but I was right. Come to think of it, I'm always right. Your life will be much better when you stop questioning that, Valkyrie." If it were a normal day Valkyrie would have attempted to punch him but it was clearly not a normal day.

"Wha…um…this is actually happening, right? I'm not dreaming this, am I?" Uncertainty laced the words of the usually confident 17 year old, as though she couldn't really believe what she was seeing. Valkyrie Cain had seen many things in her life but nothing was stranger than the sight she was greeted to when Skulduggery Pleasant dragged her to the sanctuary one day.

Erskine Ravel, the Grand Mage, head of the magic community in Ireland was trying to organise a wedding.

Granted they had all known it was coming. When the Remnant had been removed and Tanith and Ghastly were reunited they all knew it wouldn't be long until they decided to tie the knot. After a grand total of two weeks they were engaged and the planning began. Valkyrie was asked to be the maid of honour and Skulduggery the best man while Ravel had been asked to officiate the ceremony.

No one could have known what a terrible decision that was.

Before Valkyrie's eyes was a hysterical man, screaming shrilly at men delivering flowers. He was surrounded by various items that one would associate with a wedding, centrepieces, flowers and tablecloths. Ravel was doing all of these things whist wearing the grand clock of the Grand Mage (which made the scene even more comical).

Skulduggery had known his friend for a very long time but even he had not foreseen this. Then again, this particular circumstance had never occurred before and no one had ever seen Ravel react to a wedding. How was anyone to know that he'd become more of a Bridezilla than the actual bride?

"So what do we do?" queried Valkyrie curiously. Skulduggery looked at her and grinned. He and his young friend were often on the same wavelength so he knew that she was thinking of all the ways they could use this to their advantage.

"I suggest division of labour. One of us goes over there to see what the matter is and the other stays here and records the whole thing on this video camera," he prompted pulled aforementioned video camera out of his pocket. A smile graced Valkyrie's face, a devious smile.

"Ok, so just hand me the camera and get going," She outstretched her hand and gestured for him to hand over the camera. The detective stopped for a moment before shaking his head vehemently.

"No, no you're the one who's going to talk to him. I don't know anything about weddings. Why on earth would I go?"

"Because, unlike me, you've actually _had_ a wedding."

"That was hundreds of years ago, Valkyrie. Times have changed since then which is why you should go."

"I hate you."

"That's only because you don't have a good comeback. No one is capable of hating me."

With that Valkyrie stormed off towards the Grand Mage with a glare that would scare most people but only made Skulduggery chuckle. There was nothing funnier than Valkyrie when she was outwitted and sulking.

Valkyrie approached her friend slowly, not wanting to startle him and invoke his ire. "Hey Ravel," she said when she was close enough. Her voice shook a little bit whether from fear or humour she didn't know. "How's everything going?" Again she was hesitant because she did not really want to listen to the answer.

Ravel's eyes widened immensely when he saw her. Valkyrie could have sworn there was a moment of pure, unadulterated silence which she would come to think of as 'the calm before the storm.' The delivering guy just looked grateful for a reprieve from the Grand Mage.

Ravel then began to wail, that's right, wail. "Valkyrie, everything's going wrong!" There may have been possible tears. "The flowers were meant to be here twenty-five minutes ago but they were late and now they've arrived but they're all wrong!"

Valkyrie blinked. Then she blinked again. All her years training to be a detective had not prepared her for this. "Ok, um, what's wrong with them?" She couldn't see what was wrong with the flowers. She also knew that it probably wasn't such a big issue considering Tanith didn't actually care about the decorations or the ceremony. She and Ghastly just wanted to get married before something else could go wrong.

"You mean you can't tell! I ordered ivory roses and these are WHITE! This is going to disturb the theme of the room and ruin the whole wedding. God my life is over!" To make the situation more dramatic the Grand Mage stamped his foot on the ground like a nine year old girl.

"Isn't today meant to be about Ghastly and Tanith? I'm sure they won't mind the roses being a little off colour. Besides shouldn't you be going over your lines for the ceremony today?" Ravel paled a little bit when he realised that he was showing a very deep interest.

"Um…yes, this is all for, ah, Ghastly and, and Tanith. And yes the roses don't matter," Valkyrie saw a very relieved delivery man retreating as though his life depended on it. "Now, um, I should go and do some, um, other Grand Mage stuff. Over there," he said pointing at a wall. "So I'll be off now. See you later, Valkyrie. The he just left, quickly and shaking his head. The rest of the wedding people surrounded her.

Skulduggery didn't know what was funnier; Ravel's insane obsession with weddings or the look of panic on Valkyrie's face. He thought about helping her and then decided to just keep recording. When she saw what he was doing a look of pure loathing flashed through her eyes.

He knew this was not over.


End file.
